#butler juice recipe

[castletown-cafe]

Castletown Cafe Episode 29: Orange Butler Juice RE-MAKE!

Remaking Episode 19 for Halloween, we have a new Butler Juice recipe with apple cider made from scratch with fresh apples! It does take a little more work (and thorough straining) and more time, but your home will smell festive and just like fall as your cider brews. It's the perfect warm autumn drink on a cold and rainy day. Or, if you live in a warmer climate, you can enjoy it chilled and served over ice, or even make a slushie with it!

I used only honeycrisp apples for my cider, but you can mix and match. You can use as many different kinds of apple as you want. I think 5 honeycrisp and 5 granny smiths would be delicious, too. Or a mix of three different types, or even 5 different types! I should experiment with a blend of various apples, myself.

Recipe under the cut!

BUTLER JUICE (ORANGE):

10-12 large honeycrisp apples (or 10-12 large apples of different varieties, if you'd like)

1 large orange

5 sticks cinnamon

6-8 allspice berries

7 whole cloves

2 star anise pods

3/4 tsp nutmeg

12 cups water

About 1/4 cup of brown sugar, to taste.

Wash, dry, and chop up the apples into chunks, removing cores. Slice up an orange in rounds, no need to peel that. Place your apples, sliced orange, and whole spices in a large stock pot and fill it with 12 cups of water.

Heat your mixture on medium-high heat until boiling, 30 to 45 minutes or longer. Let it boil for about 5 minutes, then reduce heat to medium-low and let it simmer for another 15. After that, reduce the heat again to low and cover for about an hour and a half to two hours. The water should reduce by an inch.

Once your cider is ready, give it a good stir, then ladle it into a huge strainer over a large bowl. Mash down that fruit with a potato masher and strain as much of the cider as you can, before returning it back into the pot for another round of mashing and straining. You may have to do this one half at a time, because it may not all fit, plus, all that cider will be really heavy. It may also take at least three rounds, or more, of straining if you want your cider as pulp-free as possible (I know I do).

Now, you should have about 14 to 16 cups of strained cider! But wait, you're not finished yet! You still haven't stirred in the sugar! All you need is just 1/4 cup, but you can add more if you want it sweeter, or less if you want it less sweet. The brown sugar completes the flavor of the cider and makes it fully balanced.

You've got plenty of cider to enjoy for a week or more! It freezes really well, too, so you can always save some for later.

I even used this cider in my batch of Spider Donuts this year, both in the batter as well as the glaze. It worked well! Just be sure to reduce the amount of liquid in the cider, of course, if you're gonna use some in your apple cider donuts.

Happy Halloween!

[undertale-cooking]

Deltarune Teaparty: Butler Juice

A varied, colorful palette for the most discerning of palates!

Recipe by scammy-and-spammy

Ingredients:

A high-density beverage (examples: fruit punch, apple cider, grenadine)

A low-density beverage (examples: sugar-free Sprite/7Up, white or rosé wine)

Ice

Food coloring (if your beverages are not already colorful)

Straw (if desired)

Directions:

ButJuice is just as much a science experiment as it is a recipe! The key is the densities of the various beverages. If you pour a very dense beverage into a glass and then pour a less-dense beverage on top, it’s possible to layer the drinks without them immediately mixing. This can give a very beautiful effect.

Generally, the amount of sugar is what determines how dense a beverage is. If you have a super sugary drink like fruit punch or a sugary bar syrup like grenadine, that is far denser then something like a sugar-free soda or a light wine.

1.) Coldify your glass by filling it with lots of ice cubes. This with help slow down the mixing of layers.

2.) Next, pour your bottom layer and fill about half the glass.

3.) Pour your other beverage into a seperate cup at first. Add the food coloring if needed at this time and blend.

4.) Next, take a large spoon and place it gently into your glass so it covers your bottom layer. Then, very gently and slowly pour the second beverage into your main glass, over the bottom of the spoon. The spoon will help your top layer pour as gently as possible into the glass and minimize mixing.

And that’s it! If done well, the layers will remain seperate for quite some time, in fact. (As I’m typing these directions up, the drink I made is STILL very seperated, and it’s been over an hour by now) You can drink your beverage with a straw if you’d like to enjoy the bottom layer first.

This layering effect is popular to use in some cocktails, such as the Rainbow Paradise cocktail or the Tequila Sunrise, but it can be used just as easily for non-alcoholic drinks, too!

Bonus - Butler Tea

If you prefer to Warmify your beverage, you can attempt a colorful drink as well for some cozy Butler Tea! Keep in mind the colorful effect will not be as strong as the cold drinks, and will vanish much more quickly, though.

Simply prepare a hot tea of your choice (Earl Gray is a good option). Add milk or creamer in order to lighten up the color of your beverage. Add any desired extras, such as sweetners or garnish; boba pearls might be nice! Then, simply add a few drops of food coloring into your drink and swirl the beverage very lightly.

Enjoy!

[askwhatsforlunch]

Mr. Butler’s Phryne

“Mr. Butler refilled his [Dr. John Wilson’s] glass. This friend of Miss Fisher’s was a war hero. He should have the best that the Fisher ménage had to offer. Who knew how many young men lived because of Dr. John Wilson? And nearly at the cost of himself. It was like Miss Fisher to think of a solution to a sniper in time to save a friend’s life. Bold but not really reckless.. Those ambulances had armoured sides.

Mr. Butler decided he should create another cocktail for her on the morrow. He would call it ‘Phryne’. Sour, certainly, with a lime juice base, perhaps, and... Cointreau? Cherry brandy? Noyau? This would require study.”

Like Mr. Butler, I like mixing and creating cocktails. And like Miss Fisher, I like sipping them, whilst lounging luxuriously. And Ava and I both adore the Melbournite sleuth dearly. In fact, on the very day we met --dear me, was it almost ten years ago?-- on a hot June day, she was watching an episode of the series, with the delightful Essie Davis playing the detective! Thus, it seemed only appropriate we began our (second) six months’ anniversary feast (delayed by a fortnight; but she wasn’t here a fortnight ago) last night with a couple of Mr. Butler’s Phryne!

Ingredients (serves 1): 

8 ice cubes

2 small, ripe limes

1 tablespoon Manuka Honey Syrup

2 teaspoons Cointreau

60 millilitres/2 fluid ounces (4 tablespoons) London Dry Gin

a dash Angostura bitters

Place ice cubes in a shaker.

Thoroughly squeeze the juice of both limes, and pour over the ice. Add Cointreau, Manuka Honey Syrup and Gin. Close shaker tightly, and shake energetically until well-chilled. 

Strain into a coupe glass and add a dash of Angostura bitters.

Repeat, serve your beloved, and toast to happiness with this beautifully sour Mr. Butler’s Phryne! Happy Friday!

[bruciemilf]

re: the jaime/jason thing

Paco would love Jason so much either that or he'd absolutely hate him and be suspicious from the beginning. either one. Brenda, i think, would like Jason well enough, but I think she'd get along better with Jason's siblings than Jason himself (im thinking Duke, Tim, or Cass). Traci, Jaime's ex, would want Jaime to be happy, even if thats not with her.

Bianca Reyes would adore Jason, and would try at every opportunity to feed him "proper" food. No shade to Alfred, but he's a rich person butler, not quite in tune with the normal folks. When Jason visits, he'll try to help out in the kitchen, and learn her recipes with her, but she'll try (to no avail) to kick him out because he is a guest. He'll end up helping out anyway, but Jaime will just sit at the counter and watch, a stupid smile on his face, which is good because it means Jaime won't mess anything up (unless asked to help with something) but also shows Bianca how much he really does love Jason.

Alberto Reyes would be a little more wary of Jason, since there are mob problems in El Paso that are decently prevalent in Jaime's original solo run and Alberto got caught in the middle of them, which led to his leg injury that causes him to need a cane. However, Jason is good at working on cars, and Alberto owns an auto shop, and the more Jason is around and wants to help out in the shop, the more invested Jaime gets in helping his father out with the business. And anyone who is that good at working on a car and makes his son happy is alright in Alberto's book. It helps that should Jaime get into any trouble, Jason (and the rest of the Red Hood gang) would be there to help.

Milagro likes Jason. He's like the big brother she never had.... Milagro also canonically likes Guy Gardner so i think that bodes well for her vibing with Jason. Jason also totally bribed her into liking him faster with some homemade cookies and a cool knife that she's not supposed to let her parents or Jaime see.

(sorry this was a really long ask! i just know ive seen stuff about jaime interacting with the wayne family but not jason interacting with jaimes family, who i love very much)

PLS! I'm familiar with Jaime's family from the trailer alone, but the ' they don't get out much' tells me everything I need to know.

Jason watches these people be so tight knit and open and playful and he's like WHATS THE FUCKING PROTOCOL?

The Waynes are clawing and fighting their way towards something just like this, of course, but they've never wanted something softly.

Honestly, I love that Jaime's dad (i think) called Batman a fascist? Which just makes me smile, because Brenda DEMANDS Jason brings his family over for a house warming dinner (Jason might have bought them a house...Maybe)

Imagine Jason squeezing Jaime's hand to keep from laughing as Alberto goes on a SCATHING RANT abt batman, arm around Bruce's shoulder as they're having drinks (Tequila for him and apple juice for Bruce)

Also, I love to imagine Paco saw 6'5 Jason standing next to his very much not 6'5 best friend, and the first thing he did was send jaime the hamster eating a banana meme

[jessamine-rose]

✿ Sweeter than Honey ✿

I am still not sane after reading Barbatos’s new UR. Honey’s Sweet Allure was rlly good so I wrote a spicier continuation. Enjoy this sweet treat of our favorite butler (๑ᵔ⤙ᵔ๑)

Devilgram spoilers ahead!! Story context:: Barbatos wants to promote common varieties of honey in the Devildom. His plan is to make several honey desserts then share the pics and recipes on Devilgram with help from Mc.

♡ 0.7k words under the cut ♡

“...and that is the final dessert.”

In Barbatos’s Devilgram post, the honey yogurt parfait couldn’t look more delectable. The video shows the demon butler mixing plain yogurt with richly-colored honey. A spritz of lemon juice causes the color to fade from bold amber to pale yellow. The finished dish is a glass cup filled with colorful layers of honey yogurt, berries, and granola.

You glance at the real dessert on the kitchen countertop. The parfait is half-eaten, too scrumptious for only one bite. Asmodeus will be thrilled with the leftovers, judging by his comments.

“Once again, thank you for your assistance.” Barbatos puts down his DDD and turns to face you. His poised smile is tinged with satisfaction. “Thanks to our efforts, the Devildom will gain a better appreciation for our ordinary varieties of honey.”

“No problem!” you reply. “Thank you again for letting me taste-test your sweets. Everything was absolutely delicious!”

“I am pleased to hear that. To that end, I would like to ask an important question: Which dessert was your favorite?”

“Hmm, that’s a difficult question. And a subjective one at that. Why are you asking me?”

There is a faint twinkle in his viridian eyes. “I’d like to know your personal favorite so that I may recreate it for you in the future.”

“Aw, thank you.” Looking away, you reexamine the assorted desserts on the countertop.

The roll cake. In addition to a light honey cream filling, the cake features an intricate pattern of honeycomb and flowers.

The patterned hard candy. It doesn’t have the magic trick of the candy sticks you shared at the park, but the swirly design is far prettier.

The honey shortcake with extra honey. After the initial excitement of having a cake all to yourself, you settled for two slices to make room for the other desserts.

Your gaze returns to Barbatos. He is sampling the souffle pancakes drizzled with floral honey. A spot of honey glistens on the back of his bare hand.

You blush, recalling your previous accident. Barbatos had been so unfazed as he wiped the honey splatters off your hand and commented on your flustered reaction.

“Oh? You seem to be blushing,” he observed, a knowing smile on his face. “Were you hoping for something else, perhaps? How adorable.”

“You!”

“I beg your pardon?” Barbatos puts down his fork, eyes widening by just a fraction.

You flash him a bright smile. “My favorite dessert is you, of course! Don’t you get it, honey?”

A short pause. “Are you referring to the use of ‘honey’ as a term of endearment?”

“Exactly!”

What a cheesy line. Nonetheless, your smile doesn’t waver.

There is a drop of honey on his lips. Barbatos must’ve missed it when he heard your sorry excuse for a pickup line. The sophisticated butler is totally oblivious to that imperfection.

Was your poor flirting attempt that effective? This day keeps getting better and better!

The corners of his mouth tilt upward. “You certainly have a unique way of picking favorites. However, it would be rather inappropriate of me to promote myself to the Devildom masses.”

“In that case, does that mean only I can indulge in you?”

His only response is an enigmatic smile. You help yourself to another slice of honey shortcake, savoring the heavenly sweetness

Barbatos taps the corner of his lips. “There is some honey on your lips, ______.”

“Oh, really?” you ask innocently. “Could you please clean it up for me, then?”

He picks up a napkin. “Certainly.”

You shake your head. “No, not with that. With your lips!”

“Oh? That method sounds rather ineffective and improper,” he shoots back.

Now he is just teasing you. Already, Barbatos is caressing your cheek and looking at you with half-lidded eyes. His tongue darts out to slowly lick the honey off his own lips. An immodest, purposeful gesture.

“As you wish. Be careful what you wish for with an attitude like that.”

♡

I enjoyed all of the Devilgram stories for the Beware the Bees?! URs but Barbatos rlly takes the cake for leaving me wanting more. How dare he make me crave honey and romance....

A big thank you to @diodellet for peer-reviewing this and witnessing my brainrot. I hope I was able to satisfy everyone's cravings for Barbatos (っ˘ڡ˘ς)

Tag a Barbatos enjoyer!! @haru-kichi @whoretaglia @paradisoperdita @luyo-mi

[verdemoun]

THANKS FOR REMINDING ME SEAN AND FOOD

Even after the gang learn to use expiration dates like yes some food is more perishable than others but Sean specifically grew up in Ireland 1879-1889ish. His Da, his favorite person, his idol, literally grew up during the Great Famine and I don't think that was a trauma he healed from or was able to protect Sean from. Sean absolutely inherited food insecurity. The gang are happy to laugh along with the running gag Sean can't keep his room clean but they know a lot of it is he gets so distressed over the idea of throwing food away even if it's expired and moldy. He will try to hide it for 'later'. Lenny has to keep a mental inventory of food that is about to expire because if it is not eaten or meticulously disposed of Sean will take it and has gotten food poisoning multiple times as a result.

His workplace in contrast are happy to support it. It's an elderly Italian couple, they appreciate the fact they hired the zoomiest erratic delivery boy in history but also a human garbage disposal who will merrily take home technically expired salami and enjoy it. 2 days technically expired salami is fine but it is a team effort to stop him saying shit like 'just cut the mold off the cheese it's fine' 'just don't drink the lumps in the milk'.

Kieran and instant meals is absolutely a thing. When I say instant I mean powdered. He was honestly the only one who struggled gaining weight while also being the one who really most urgently needed to gain weight. Bessie keeps that prescription high protein high calorie apple juice in stock at all times. Food is a nightmare of unexpected. Do you think he ever ate baked goods again after seeing a single spot of mold on a loaf of bread and learned that was a thing? Protein shakes, instant soup, rice cakes, instant potato, processed steam bag veggies and meat cooked to congratulations level of well done. If he cannot recognize what a food is made of he will not eat it. Rice, pasta, noodles, they do not look like food he will not touch them. Actually encouraging him to try protein shakes took a while but he now relishes the fact it is always the exact same (he will measure out the exact amount of water to make sure it is the same!!) He may be an Irish boy at heart but stew is a nightmare of vegetables cooked at different consistencies and he will only pick at it. Enjoys the taste sure but anxiety is too much.

Ironically he does really enjoy Mexican and Javier is very patient explaining the ingredients and letting him try stuff with the reassurance if he doesn't like it he will gladly eat it. Ugh I'm going to go off about how much the gang do not encourage Javier to connect to culture in canon era but Kieran adores listening to people talk about things they are excited and passionate about and will gladly sit through Javier's lectures on authentic Mexican and his stories of home. Javier also only cooks the way he was raised to, the recipe is the same every time and he is a perfectionist. Kieran does not fear pico de gallo as long as Javier solely was the one who made it. Will eat a bowl of it. Offer him a tomato any other time and he will not touch it.

While Arthur becomes a masterchef he absolutely was the first to start experimenting with food to disastrous effects that made them miss Pearson's bland mystery stews. Has mistaken salt for sugar when baking before he learned the importance of labels. Learned cilantro/coriander tastes like soap to him after accidentally dumping a mound of it into sauce thinking it was parsley. Arthur and John also in monkey brain mode together would do those hottest chip ever challenges and almost die.

Dutch's psych ward is bordering on resort living he treats his nurses like butlers laying in a sun chair in standard issue patient garb ordering hand squeezed lemonade doesn't even need to clear his throat before hearing an obedient 'yes, Mr Van Der Linde' and getting his refill. Gets a little giddy over the ridiculousness of tiny umbrellas as peak capitalism but drinks non-alcoholic pina colada for days. Crude jokes to Hosea about the magical effects of pineapple.

JACK'S RELATIONSHIP WITH PASTA HE LOVES PASTA Isaac took him to like wholefoods to see all the different shapes and types of pasta and Captain Angst lit up like a florescent lighting and bought all of it. John and Abigail are super uncomfortable with it but being kidnapped is one of Jack's happiest childhood memories he had good food, toys and experienced the high class luxuries hotels could only wish to offer. Will eat himself sick if he makes too much because he would never waste pasta. Carries a pasta measuring guide as one of his necessities after getting one as a gag present. Number 1 comfort food and boy does he need comforting. He will walk around eating a handful of plain pasta with the classic ardent desperation of both a wild horse and the gentle schoolgirl trying to tame it.

OMG WAIT SO UR AU HAS CHUBBY MACGUIRE

let the whole gang have their soft well fed happy era where they don't need to worry about where food is coming from no more treating beer like a necessary source of nutrition. don't care how long they've been warped they don't understand nor care for body standards or modern era aesthetics as long as they're happy and physically able to do the things they enjoy. dad bods and mom bods everywhere.

[scammy-and-spammy]

Butler Juice

* Half apple cider * Half rose wine (or sparkling juice of your choice if under 21) * Dot of food colouring, lightly swirled

Butler Tea

* Tea of any choice (i recommend earl grey) * Milk (or any creamer/anything to make the tea lighter) * Dots of food colouring, lightly swirled * Extra: any sweeteners or garnish; boba pearls might be nice! 

[twiceasfrustrating]

I saw your fic with Barbatos & Satan at the concert and loved it. So how about a fluffy fic with the two of them baking or cooking together.

Rating: General Audiences

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: Gen

Fandom: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!

Characters: Satan, Barbatos

Additional Tags: Fluff, baking

A/N: One order of fluff coming up!

Word Count: 492

“Do you happen to have volcanic oats?” Barbatos asked as he looked over the ingredients in front of him. Bittersweet apples, screaming lemon juice, burnt black sugar, and more. He had almost everything needed to make the crumble, but he still needed the volcanic oats to make it perfect. Of course, other types of oats would work as well, but volcanic oats would be the best.

“Check the cabinet up there.” Satan motioned with his flour-covered hand, “It should be toward the back behind a nearly empty bag of poison wasp stingers, assuming Beel didn’t eat them all.” Which was a real risk when it came to keeping anything in the same house as the avatar of gluttony.

Barbatos opened the cabinet, hoping to find the oats but not building up his expectations. Much to his joy, they appeared to be there, though the poison wasp stingers certainly were not.

He brought down the sack of oats and set them on the counter while Satan continued to knead the bread in front of him.

They had, for the sake of something new, decided to exchange recipes for the day and make a specialty of the other. Barbatos taught Satan to make some of the lightly sweet yet savory bread that went so well with his black teas and Satan gave Barbatos the recipe card to make a special apple crumble. Barbatos just wanted to make a few small edits he thought would be more appetizing.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea, though? Those get really hot in the oven and could burn the entire thing,” Satan had to ask because he knew Barbatos would be upset if his crumble came out as anything other than perfect.

“I’ve already accounted for it.” As long as he kept the temperature low the oats would cook it the rest of the way.

“If you say so.” For Satan’s part, he was struggling with the bread dough, finding it almost as hard as a rock and he tried to fold it over itself.

Barbatos noticed his struggles and shook his head. He knew firsthand how difficult this particular step was, “Would you like some assistance?”

Satan only grumbled out a small, “Yes,” before stepping back and allowing Barbatos to take over.

The butler rolled up his sleeves and took over for Satan, coating his hands in a layer of flour before beginning. He was careful to move slowly as he kneaded the dough, knowing that it would harden quickly if he went too fast. That was the secret to these special little loaves.

“If you go at this speed, you should be able to continue without issue.”

Satan nodded in understanding, “I see. That’s an interesting trick.”

“A gentle hand to make the bread just as soft.” That was the entire trick to it.

Both of them, now with an understanding, returned to their respective recipes and continued to try and recreate the other’s dish.

[tastesoftamriel]

What kinds of foods were you not expecting certain races to enjoy? Like, things you thought for sure the Altmer wouldn't eat EVER, but they actually do?

There are certainly a surprising number of culinary irregularities all Tamrielic races have, despite the overwhelming number of picky eaters (Skyrim and Valenwood, I'm looking at you). These are some of the ones which caught me off-guard...

Argonians

Traditional Argonian cuisine is known for being spicy and a whirlwind of flavours, so the mildness and complexity of foam frog soufflé was not what I expected! In terms of taste and texture, it's comparable to the classic Breton orange liqueur flambéed soufflé. The naturally-occurring foam generated by foam frogs is whipped with coconut milk and scuttlebloom nectar, then gently baked in delicate clay ramekins in a traditional stone oven. It is then sprinkled with a bit of coconut sugar, and drenched in sweet banana liqueur before getting blasted with a Flame spell right at your table! Don't think you can try this at home though- this recipe takes a lot of skill to pull off, and is considered one of the most impressive dishes in Saxhleel cuisine. And yes, it's Breton-approved, but don't tell them that the frog foam is actually residue from mating and is filled with tadpoles.

Breton

On that note, the Breton kitchen is full of surprises! It's well known that High Rock gastronomy is very focused on sit-down meals and the correct use of cutlery, so finger foods aren't very traditional, even among the common folk. It blew my mind when I first visited Daggerfall and found taverns and market stands selling Orcish kebabs! These messy, enormous rolls have been downsized (and underfilled) to suit Breton tastes, but the strongly spiced goat meat, frost mirriam yoghurt sauce, and tasty radish balls are true to the original! You'll even find nobles sending their butlers out to procure a hot kebab for them to eat out of view of the public eye...it would be mortifying if somebody saw a drop of chili sauce dripping down a noblewoman's chin!

Bosmer

Green Pact Bosmeri food isn't known for its sweets, so the very existence of meat-based desserts was initially baffling to me. A Valenwood favourite is the boiled pudding, which is made from eggs, milk, suet, and cricket flour, and sweetened with imported sugar, sweet condensed milk, or candied fruit. As such, these dense puddings are sometimes known as Falinesti Forbidden Fruit, and they're sometimes decorated to look like large oranges, apples, or coconuts for the shock factor! And if you're curious to try this strange but tasty dessert, you'll be pleased to know that a new recipe is coming soon...

Nords

I admit it, Skyrim cuisine can be a little bland compared to the food of most other races, but this little gem is a dish most outsiders don't know about- Akaviri casserole. I don't know if it's actually Akaviri in origin, or if somebody just thought it sounded exotic, but it is deceptively spicy, and not in a way most Tamrielic people know it. Its key ingredient is frost peppercorns, which grow at high altitudes in Skyrim and around the Druadach Mountains, are coveted by alchemists, but also pack a serious punch in any dish. While regular chilis have a sharp burn, frost peppercorns leave a numbing, tingly feeling that spice masochists love. Anywhere from a couple of peppercorns to a whole fistful of them go into a casserole dish with an eidar cheese sauce, venison, juniper berries, and vegetables like potatoes and carrots. In other words, it's just another Nord dish...but painful.

Redguards

I mentioned a while ago that Redguards detest moldy or fermented foods, due to the close association with rot and death. There is an exception to this however, and it's surprisingly something that's served in every Hammerfell household: fish paste. Similar in taste to the Imperial garum, fermented fish paste is literally made from leftover fisherman's offcuts which usually have been left out in the sun all day. Rather than leaving the scraps to the vultures, at the end of the day they're shovelled into stone amphorae containing gods know what (it's a closely guarded secret) and are left to ferment for two days in a cellar. Of course, there are plenty of posh Redguard fish pastes on the market with Abecean longfin caviar, but this is first and foremost a food of the common people, with humble (if slightly gross) origins.

Imperials

I've always loved the predictability of Cyrodiilic cooking...until you find something like barbecued minotaur ribs. Ribs aren't anything surprising, but Imperial ribs are usually tender, delicate lamb or faun. Eating is a serious, dignified affair, so this is a completely astounding defiance of customs. Minotaur meat is a rare delicacy, and they're normally basted in a red wine, honey, and mustard sauce, and grilled on flaming coals. The end result is a meaty, sweet mess, and definitely just as undignified to eat (if not moreso) than the Breton kebabs. If you're willing to get your hands dirty and abandon haughty Imperial decorum, you've found a carnivore's dream.

Khajiit

Gryphons can be dangerous pests to the Khajiit living outside city walls in Elsweyr. When they've snatched enough sheep or wounded people, villagers will often band together and hunt the responsible gryphon, and eat it at a communal feast. A successful gryphon hunt is a cause for celebration among Khajiit, and is seen as a good omen and blessing from Hircine, the Hungry Cat. The reason this is fascinating to me is that gryphons are sort of like a cross between turkey and beef in form and taste, and no other race eats them. After it is plucked, gryphon meat is hacked into chunks and distributed by the clan chief between households, who then cook and share it with the village. Gryphon dishes range from red curried gryphon with saffron rice to a simple roast gryphon with moon sugar.

Altmer

It's an industry joke that cooking for High Elves is like trying to milk a kagouti; it makes no sense, they're probably going to get mad, and it's impossible. Imagine my astonishment, then, when I learned that even haughty Summerset is not immune from the delicious clutches of...macaroni and cheese. They'll opt for ingredients like cave-aged, 80 year old vintage indrik cheddar or authentic Cyrodiilic buckwheat  orrechiette, but I was shocked that this humble dish was a treat that's well-loved in Summerset, despite its lack of technical complexity. It's a rare treat though, because all that cheese grease is bad for the Altmer complexion!

Dunmer

Nothing is particularly surprising from the old guard of traditional Vvardenfell cooking- after a few kwama eggs and guar steaks, you get the general idea. What I do find surprising is the emergence of Skyrim Dunmeri cuisine. It's been a couple of generations since the refugees fleeing Morrowind settled in Solstheim and largely Windhelm, and those born in Skyrim have developed a cooking style of their own. Based on traditional Dunmeri dishes like crab meat and scuttle, you'll find local ingredients used as substitutes. Apparently, the juices from Nord pickled herring makes the perfect substitute for kwama egg whites...I'll leave it at that.

Orcs

It's known that the radish is an Orc's favourite vegetable, and it's served tender, crunchy, baked or raw in any Orcish dish under the sun. Radish tea-sandwiches are therefore one of the more confusing foods I've come across, though they're mostly served by Wrothgarian and High Rock Orsimer. Soft wheat bread is buttered and layered with horseradish chutney, raw radish slices, and cucumber slices. They're cut into dainty triangles are are usually a snack food, though other races view them as canapés served at high tea or parties. However, when I asked an old hearthwife on Betnikh about radish tea-sandwiches, I was threatened a beating because it was embarrassing, and to tusk off and find some mammoth. If you never hear from me again, you know who got me.

[redrobinfection]

Alfred’s Favorite Barbara

Babs & Alfred || Read on Ao3 || Happy Birthday, Barbara Gordon! ❤

<< A sequel to last year’s “Batgirls’ Favorite Mentor” 

~*~

Barbara leaned forward and spit out the toothpaste Cass had let her use, on one of the many spare toothbrushes Alfred kept in the guest toiletries stockpile, then leaned back in her chair with a sigh and considered her mostly-put-together-again reflection in the bathroom mirror.

Wow, that had certainly been a party of a night, she mused, ruefully lifting a strand of her sleep-mussed auburn locks before deciding that pulling it back in a bun was really the only dignified solution.

Steph and Cass had kept her up all night--not like that was all that much different from her usual schedule, but mani, pedi, facials, horrible (great) superhero movies, and gossip until dawn had worn her out more than she would have expected. Although, the wine that had snuck into the mix right when the mani-pedis were left to dry and the third movie went in might have had something to do with it, she conceded with a smirk at herself in the mirror. It wasn't a bad sort of tired, she admitted as she tucked few stray hairs into her messy bun, but she was more than ready for a day to rest, recover and recharge.

Just after dawn, Alfred had invaded the sanctum of their home theater encampment to invite them up to the kitchen for a hearty breakfast. There he had laid out toast, eggs, bacon, sausage, fruit, juices, teas, coffee, pancakes and even some of the real cake from the night before--a rare breach of protocol from the prim and proper butler that Barbara took as a one-time gesture of affectionate indulgence of their whims--which eventually drew out the other occupants of the house, turning breakfast the morning after into as much of a party as dinner the night before had been.

After that, Alfred had shooed Steph and Cass off to bed and shown Barbara up to her regular guest room where the bed had already been turned down, the pillows fluffed and the blackest of blackout curtains tightly drawn, bless that man. After a few hours of much needed sleep, it was now just past noon, most of the manor's occupants were either still sleeping or out living their daylight personas, and Alfred had offered to drive her back to the Clocktower after she had "freshened up a bit".

Satisfied that she had done as much as she could to make herself decent for the drive of shame, Barbara gathered her things and made her way down the hall to the elevator. Alfred was waiting for her when the doors opened on the civilian garage.

"Ah, Miss Barbara, I take it you're ready to depart?"

"Yes. Thank you for driving me back, Alfred."

"Of course, it's my pleasure."

He led the way toward their several limousines, opened the door to one very special vehicle and began extending and lowering a long ramp. Barbara pressed her lips together to hide a smile as Alfred stepped to one side and let her wheel herself up the shallow incline. He retracted the ramp, closed the door and slid into the driver's seat while she positioned herself in the sleek interior and locked the wheels of her chair.

"Thanks again, Alfred. For everything," Barbara added as they pulled out of the garage. "Last night, this morning...it was all amazing and it must have been so much work--extra work--for you. I really appreciate it."

She saw his eyebrows rise in the rear-view mirror as he replied, "Of course. It was no trouble; I would hardly label hosting a small dinner in honor of and giving accommodations to one of my favorite persons "work". It was a pleasure, Miss Barbara."

She raised an eyebrow in turn. "Oh really? A fairly large dinner, putting up with the mess we all made in the theater afterwards, and putting together a big breakfast in the morning--and driving me back after letting me stay over, even when I'm sure you've got plenty of cleaning up to do? 'Favorite person' huh? If I didn't know better I'd think you were buttering me up for something, Alfred Pennyworth," she teased, sharing a knowing look with him in the mirror.

He didn't laugh out loud, but his eyes twinkled in that way Barbara knew meant he was amused rather than offended. "My word! Is it so hard to believe that an old man would take pleasure in doing what little he could to celebrate the birthday of his favorite Barbara."

Barbara did laugh out loud. "Your favorite...huh! First Jason calls me his favorite, then Tim and Dick, then Steph and Cass... and now you? All of you in less than twenty-four hours? Did you all have a meeting to discuss the topic or am I about to go home to one of the hardest cases of all time and you're all buttering me up to it?"

"I believe the subject had come up recently," Alfred replied evenly. "You do so much for this family and receive so little appreciation..."

"That's my line," Barbara muttered incredulously with a minute shake of her head.

"...and I'll have you know that of all the Barbaras I've had the pleasure of knowing, you most certainly rank supreme."

Barbara huffed a laugh through her nose. "And how many Barbaras is that exactly?"

Alfred met her eyes in the mirror and fixed her with an impressive look. "When you've lived as long as I have, served as long as I have, you come to know a great many people. Among all of those... you are rare soul indeed, Barbara. Surely one to celebrate and to venerate."

That gave her pause. What are you supposed to say to something like that? She didn't know, so she let the silence stretch and turned her gaze to the traffic speeding past her window while her true focus turned to beating down the bloom of color that had flooded her cheeks at Alfred's unexpected pronouncement. 

They rode in silence--not an uncomfortable silence, but Barbara still felt the weight of those words still hanging heavy between them--for the rest of the drive. They'd caught the lull between the lunch-hour jam and afternoon rush-hour traffic--likely a strategic choice on Alfred's part--so it only took about twenty minutes to make the trip into the city. 

Alfred graciously helped her disembark, escorted her to the ground level door to the tower, and--to her surprise--asked to walk her in, pulling a cooler bag from somewhere with leftovers from the revelries. Barbara invited him in, sending him ahead of her with repeated thanks, but the words of appreciation died in her throat as she rolled over the threshold and took in the interior of her homebase. 

She wasn't a slob, per se, but Barbara knew she didn't tidy up around the Tower quite as often as she should, and she cleaned the place even less frequently. It was a lot of real estate for one person--a person with certain mobility issues, at that--and a small army of specially programmed Roombas and some casual dusting here and there could only do so much. 

But today, her foyer was spotless. All the coats, umbrellas and other detritus were neatly hung or stacked in their places. The tile was a shade lighter than she remembered and the grout was actually white--she'd actually thought it was tan up until now. 

Moving into her apartment showed the same story. Shelves of books and knick-knacks were freshly dusted, the rugs had been deeply vaccuumed, and personal items had been put away or neatly arranged. Every surface gleamed.

She turned to Alfred with an accusing look. "Alfred... did you...?" One look at his quietly pleased expression was answer enough. "When did you even find the time to come over here and do this? Did you clean the whole Tower?" She wouldn't doubt it. She didn't bother to ask him how he got into her super-secure, high-tech lair--this is the ex-MI6 agent who raised Bruce, after all--but given the timeline of events, it shouldn't have been possible for him to clean all this by himself and do everything he did for them while she was at the manor. 

"We did, in fact, clean the entire tower--and we took great care not to disturb any of your things in the command center, mind you--but it hardly took any time at all with Masters Damian and Timothy along to help. In fact, we were in and out well before you rose from your nap this morning."

Barbara's eyebrow rose into her hair. Alfred had wrangled Tim and Damian--in the morning, of all times--into cleaning? Together? Without killing each other? 

"Wow, Alfred, you got Tim and Damian to work together to do all of this...? At eight in the morning? You're a miracle worker, for sure. I can't tell you how much I appreciate this.

"Really, Alfred...this--" she gestured to rooms around them "--the party, the sleepover, and then breakfast... you've done so much. Thank you. It means a lot to me, but, really, you didn't need to do all this. It's... it’s too much..." 

Alfred looked away for a moment, his expression uncharacteristically sheepish. "Ah, well. Yes. I admit, I may have gone a bit overboard..."

They entered the kitchen and Barbara came to a complete stop. The appliances shone, the stove was spotless, and, for once, the sink was completely free of dishes. But that wasn't what stopped her dead in her tracks. 

On the polished kitchen table, laid out elegantly on a freshly washed and pressed table cloth that Barbara had forgotten she even owned, was a handsome tea set in lustrous lavender and gold--one pot, saucers, cups, sugar cellar and creamer. To one side sat a few varieties of Alfred's favorite teas, and on the other a plate piled high with Alfred’s signature tea cakes, one of her favorite things about visiting the manor for pre-patrol briefings or post-patrol debriefings, back in the day. A recipe card stuck out under the plate.

Barbara turned to Alfred, her vision going misty. "Alfred..."

Alfred graced her with a rare smile, beaming down at her, his expression fond, but his voice was quiet, "For when you need a break from Master Tim's gift of espresso or a moment of peace after along night."

Barbara broke out into a teary smile of her own and raised her arms, reaching out for a hug before she thought it through. Alfred surprised her yet again, leaning down to accept her embrace. 

"Really, thank you, Alfred. For everything," Barbara murmured into his shoulder before he could pull away again.

He didn't. Instead, he replied, so quietly Barbara almost missed it,

"Anything for one of my favorite granddaughters."

[cheri-cheri]

[L&N] Seeking Sweetness Workshop Event (Assorted)

Prologue: here

Flipping through the cookbook on the table, the various desserts are a feast for the eyes.

Is he really able to make all of these desserts? I feel a little skeptical.

Charlie rolls up his sleeves at the side, appearing confident.

Charlie: In order to celebrate my role as my fiancée’s dessert teacher, I must first showcase my superb culinary skills when it comes to making desserts. Fiancée, what would you like to eat?

Option 1: Bear Bun

Option 2: Cream Cheese Pie

Option 3: Tiramisu

Option 4: Warm red wine

[ Option 1: Bear Bun ]

MC: This bear looks really adorable!

To my surprise, Charlie’s looks a little embarrassed.

Charlie: Although I could be considered capable and deft, I’ll need some time to create such a complex image.

Charlie tries his best to copy the picture of the bear as he pinches the dough, but he doesn’t seem very successful...

[ Little Bear Bun ]

Hey, it’s a little bear! Although it appears somewhat simple, it looks like it’ll taste pretty good.

Charlie: How do you find it? Isn’t the perfect dessert your fiancée personally created breathtaking?

[ Option 2: Cream Cheese Pie ]

I direct Charlie to look at the page featuring cream cheese pies.

The moment he glances at it, Charlie displays his usual confident smile.

Charlie: Yes, my lady.

He nods seriously. When he busies himself in front of the cooking counter, he looks like a magician who is ready to showcase his skills.

[ Cream cheese pie ]

When the cream and cheese meet, you’re able to enjoy the silky smooth fragrance of milk to your heart’s content.

[ Option 3: Tiramisu ]

Charlie: Oh? Tiramisu means...

MC: Don’t say anything! It won’t come true if you say it.

I immediately stop him. Symbolisms are akin to wishes - they lose their effectiveness once they are spoken aloud.

Charlie: Your fiancé feels happy to be able to feel your love no matter where we are.

[ Tiramisu ]

Occasionally bitter and occasionally sweet. WIth a single scoop, taste the innumerable flavours of love.

[ Option 4: Warm Red Wine ]

Charlie furrows his brows slightly.

Charlie: Erm... it’s a shame that my butler didn’t prepare red wine. How about this - I’ll prepare a special Charlie drink for my fiancée.

Charlie gets up confidently, then begins searching for the ingredients.

[ Grape Juice ]

Upon careful tasting, I can feel the fruit pulp while drinking this icy, invigorating and savoury red grape juice.

More recipes:

✧ Sponge Pudding

✧ Cake

✧ Gorgeous Sweet Dreams (recommended to read this last)

[castletown-cafe]

Castletown Café Episode 28: Butler Juice (Red)

Butler juice comes in different colors, flavor changing with temperature. This flavor was a long time coming and is perfect for the holiday season. It’s a combination of pomegranate with cranberry and mulled with spices, best served warm. Enjoy plain, or if you want to make it an adult beverage, with spiced rum (or even mull with a sweet red wine). Glass cocktail mugs are perfect to serve it in, even if serving alcohol-free, and is a warm cup of holiday cheer. It’s sweet, spicy, but with the addition of a little tartness.

The recipe is similar to the one I did for orange Butler Juice, with cinnamon sticks, star anise, cloves, a sliced orange and allspice berries, minus the ginger.

BUTLER JUICE (RED):

24 oz plain pomegranate juice (look closely at the bottles to make sure it’s not mixed with another juice flavor)

8-12 oz cranberry juice (or cherry if you’d rather, again, look closely at the bottles)!

3 cinnamon sticks

8 allspice berries

2 small star anise pods

10 whole cloves

1 large, whole sliced orange

Pour in juices in a medium to large pot and add the spices and orange.

Bring to a simmer on medium-low heat, then reduce the heat to low and cover. Let the drink mull together for an hour or two.

Ladle into a cocktail mug and serve, strain the juice into a container to store leftovers.

Enjoy your time off from work or school, and have a happy New Year!

[undertale-cooking]

*blows dust off the blog*

Hi, folks. It’s been . . . a while. The past several years have seen me falling on some pretty rough times (COVID, money issues, issues with my living situation, other health stuff to deal with, etc etc). Thus my absense.

The good news is, things are starting to stabalize a lot more for me, finally! However, in the meantime, there has been another blog that has taken on the task of making excellent recipes for Deltarune foods and drinks. The blog is @castletown-cafe

As such, it seems as though it would be rather difficult to compete with such a talented blog. 😅 There are a couple of Deltarune recipes that people have submitted here, so I will definitely be testing, photographing (if needed) & publishing those because they deserve to see the light of day! And I am sure everyone will very much appreciate these submissions. But after that, well, it may be time for me to hang up the tea towel on this project, as it were.

I’ve enjoyed this project so much over the years and it’s been so exciting to test out the creative recipes you’ve all come up with, as well as devise some of my own. It’s also an absolute joy to have been a part of such a fun, welcoming community. And I am super excited to personally start trying out some of the gorgeous recipes from @castletown-cafe because they look amazing! I strongly encourage everyone else to check them out too, and I’ll be reblogging them over time.

So stay tuned for the final few recipes that this blog will publish (Revive Mint Tea, Butler Juice & Butler Tea, and Hot Chocolate). I will also continue to reblog any fun recipes I can find related to the Undertale & Deltarune universe.

[askwhatsforlunch]

Mr. Butler’s Refreshing Cocktail

“Mr. Butler brought a tray of drinks into the garden. Flossie squeaked her pleasure at renewing their acquaintance and he unbent far enough to pat her trunk. ‘A refreshing cocktail, Miss Fisher,’ he said. ‘In view of the day we have all had.’ Phryne sipped. ‘Oh, lovely,’ she said. It tasted of cherries. A bubbly, delicate, utterly refreshing mouthful of spring.”

It may not be Springtime up here (in the Northern hemisphere), but I’ve fancied trying my hand at Mr. Butler’s Refreshing Cocktail since re-reading Queen of the Flowers, last month. And, I did spend the day in the (elephant-less!) garden. I was not lounging, but planting tulip, iris and allium bulbs, repotting house plants, wintering the peonies and trimming the rhododendron got me warm enough that I wanted to sip a nice, chill cocktail once the work was done! I did not made the long drink version, though; I keep that one for Spring!

Ingredients (serves 1):

8 ice cubes

30 millilitres/1 fluid ounce (2 tablespoons) cherry brandy

30 millilitres/1 fluid ounce (2 tablespoons) good quality Gin

1/2 lemon

a teaspoon Cointreau

a teaspoon Honey Syrup

Fill a shaker with ice cubes. Pour in cherry brandy and Gin. Squeeze in the juice of the lemon halve, and add Cointreau and Honey Syrup. Close tightly, and shake energetically until well-chilled.

Strain into a coupe or cocktail glass.

Enjoy Mr. Butler’s Refreshing Cocktail immediately, whilst reading a murder mystery perhaps...

[fearfulkittenwrites]

Damian needs help - Super Sons

"After pacing in his room for a while, Damian came to the painful conclusion that he’d need help. Unfortunately, the only people who could offer him said help were... For lack of a better term, irritating. Still, he swallowed his pride and went hunting for the three men he lovingly calls brothers."

Or: Damian asks his brothers how were they able to turn their friendships into romances, because he wants to do the same.

Word count: 1971

Link for it on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25812319

Or read it below the cut!

After pacing in his room for a while, Damian came to the painful conclusion that he’d need help. Unfortunately, the only people who could offer him said help were... For lack of a better term, irritating. Still, he swallowed his pride and went hunting for the three men he lovingly calls brothers, finding all of them in the cave. Dick was exercising his acrobat skills, Tim was mindlessly kicking the crap out of a punching bag, looking bored, and Jason cleaned his guns while humming “Highway to Hell”.

“I need your help.” He exclaimed, from the top of the stairs. All of them immediately stopped what they were doing. Jason seemed amused, Dick seemed worried and Tim seemed... incredulous.

“You... What?” He asked, stilling the bag.

“I need your help.” He repeated, frowning.

“Something bad happened Dames?” Dick inquired, carefully.

“What? No.” Damian shook his head and climbed down. Dick picked up a towel to remove the sweat from his hair and face, then hanged it around his neck. Jason reassembled his weapons, watching from a safe distance while the rest of them got closer to the boy “I need your help because... I...” His voice became an inaudible mumbe.

“Because what?” Tim inquired.

“Because I want to ask...” Once again, his words became mushed up, hurried and quiet. Dick raised an eyebrow and smirked.

“What?” The teen insisted.

“It’s about Jon, isn’t it?” Dick stated. Damian scowled and nodded.

“What? How did you know that?” Tim stepped in.

“That’s not the point, Drake.” Damian interrupted “I need to ask him out.”

“And what do you need us to do?” Dick asked, reaching for the water bottle on his table.

“I need advice. You have been in situations very similar to mine, and you had a good outcome. How can I achieve that with Jon?”

“I don’t know man, just ask him out.” Tim said, headed back to his punching bag “It’s not like Jon would ever be mean to anyone. Even if you yourself are the incarnation of mean.”

“-tt-.” Damian rolled his eyes “Grayson, what did you do to get West?” He inquired.

“Well, I guess that at first we had like, a bromance, right?”

“Yes. And then what?”

“Then we slept together.” He shrugged. However, as soon as the words came out of his mouth he regretted them, straightening his posture “But, uhm, maybe that’s not the best advice for you to follow.”

“I figured that out on my own.” He scowled in disgust. Damian turned to Tim. He was also with a super, so he’d probably be of use to Damian now “What about you, Drake? How did you get the clone?”

“Actually,” He gave a high kick to the bag “Kon was the one who asked me out.”

“And why did you say yes?” He twisted his nose.

“Uh, because I wanted to?” Tim responded, an implied ‘obviously’ in his tone “Anyways, I don’t think I can help you so much in that department. Hey, Jason,” He said “You should be able to help. What did you do to be with Roy?”

“What?” The man answered “Me and Roy aren’t together.”

“Really?” Tim laughed “Then why do you always cuddle when you’re watching a movie together?”

“And why is he always lingering around in the manor?” Damian asked, crossed arms.

“And didn’t you two went out together the other night?” Dick chimed in, biting the end of his bottle.

“We went to a bar, that’s normal.”

“Yeah, except for the fact that I accidentally caught you two in the middle of a heavy makeout session when you came back.” Dick shot back.

“Consider yourself lucky.” Tim said “I caught them doing worse.”

“It’s not like we’re exclusive or anything.” Jason explained.

“Have you been with anyone else lately?” Dick smirked as the other glared at him “Well, he hasn’t either.”

“He...? Wait.” Jason stopped for a second “Shit. Shit. I need to call Roy.” He rushed out of the cave, picking up his cellphone.

Tim chuckled.

“Ugh, clearly, the three of you are useless. As usual.” Damian scowled.

“Oh, c’mon Little D.” Dick said, ruffling his hair “We’re not useless. You’re the one expecting something that doesn’t exist.”

“And what would that be?” He groaned, setting his hair back in order.

“A formula. There’s no such thing as a recipe when it comes to romance. You just have to try whatever feels right.”

“Nothing feels right.” He complained, throwing his small body in a chair.

“That’s because you’re nervous.” Dick pointed out “Just... Ask him if he’d want to go out and have some ice cream this weekend. Then see what happens.”

“This seems like an awfully unprepared date.”

“It doesn’t have to be elaborate Damian.” Dick rolled his eyes.

“Yeah,” Tim chimed in, still torturing the poor bag “I mean, Jon’s a farm boy and he’s the literal personification of sunshine. You could probably take him to a convenience store on a first date and he’d be excited about it.” Damian groaned.

“Fine, I’ll consider it.” Damian said.

Jason ran into the cave in an euphoric state, practically falling down the stairs.

“Guys!” He yelled “Guys you were right! We’re together now! He really is my boyfriend!”

Damian scowled in disgust while Tim and Dick laughed. The boy pushed his brother out of the way as he went back up into the manor, knowing what he had to do, as unpleasant as it might be. He made his way into the ballroom, where Alfred coordinated the cleaning for the incoming gala. Getting the room ready always took at least three days; the butler was a perfectionist.

“Alfred.” He called “I require some assistance.” The man seemed surprise. He nodded, turning his attention to a blushing Damian “Say I intended to ask someone on a date.” His face got redder with each word “What... Where should I take said person?”

“Well, master Damian,” Alfred started “That depends. Who is this girl we’re talking about?”

“Not a girl.” He couldn’t keep eye contact.

“Oh. Then who is this boy we’re thinking of?” Damian couldn’t answer “Is it safe to assume we’re talking about young master Jon?” He shoved his face in his hands and nodded “Very well then.” Alfred had the faintest of smiles on his face “Might I suggest a picnic sir?” Damian peeked through his fingers “I can arrange a meal to be eaten in the garden.” He removed his hands from his face, placing them on his chin.

“Maybe. But I have a better idea.”

...

Damian paced on the roof when he saw a blue blur coming in his direction. He smiled. Jon landed next to him, Superboy outfit on.

“Hey D.” He greeted, smiling “Why aren’t you wearing your costume?”

“They’re not...” He bit his tongue “Wait. What did the clone tell you?”

“Kon told me that Tim told him that you asked him to tell Kon to tell me that you’d be waiting in the roof for me tonight.” Jon tilted his head a little “Why?”

“Did that idiot tell you why I’d be waiting in the roof?” Damian was fuming. He wished he had simply asked Jon himself.

“No? I assumed it was hero stuff.” He looked past him. There was a picnic basket and a checkered red tablecloth set on the ground “Oh.” He blushed.

“Yeah. Oh.” Damian said, huffing “Stupid clone. You should leave. I won’t force you to...”

“No! No, it’s a good kind of ‘oh’.” Jon extended his hands, stopping Damian “I... Liked it. I just wish I had a better outfit on.”

“Well,” Damian shifted his weight from one leg to the other “In that case, maybe we should sit.”

“Yeah. Sure.” Jon swallowed, unsure on how to act. Damian pulled out the food Alfred had prepared for them.

“I, uhm, I asked Alfred to make these.” He placed two sandwiches in front of them “They’re chickpeas ‘tuna’ sandwiches. If you don’t like them, I’m certain Alfred would be happy to make you something else.”

“I’ve never had those before,” Jon said, examining it “They seem good.”

“They are.” Damian watched as Jon bit into his sandwich, hopeful.

“Hum.” He exclaimed, mouth full “I like it.” Damian let out a breath. He pulled out two glass bottles.

“Orange juice?”

“Yes, please.” Jon took one from his hands.

They ate quietly. Damian noticed how Jon’s blue eyes looked beautiful under the moonlight, how his hair framed his face perfectly when it was ruffled up by the wind, how his smile still knocked the breath out of his lungs, no matter how many times he’s seen it before. Jon stared at the stars.

“This is so nice.” He said “It’s been so long since I last saw them this bright. The lights in metropolis get in the way.” Damian looked up “I thought they’d get in the way here too, but I guess that the manor is far enough from the city that it doesn’t.” He sighed “It makes me miss Hamilton.”

Damnit. Damian planned this so carefully. How could he have missed something so obvious? Now Jon was sad, and it was his fault. He should’ve just taken him for stupid ice cream.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.” He said, head low.

“Upset me?” Jon asked “You didn’t upset me. This is perfect, D.”

“But you just said...?”

“That it makes me miss Hamilton? That’s not a bad thing.” Jon smiled, biting his sandwich again “It means that you gave me back something I thought I had lost for good after I moved.” He inched a hand closer to Damian’s. He retributed the movement, fingers touching slightly. None of them wanted to pull away.

Once they were done eating, Damian reached into the basket again, pulling out...

“Cookies!” Jon excitedly pointed out. Damian smirked.

“I knew you’d like them.” Jon fished one out of the bag.

“Oh, they’re still warm!” He nearly moaned as he bit into one of them “These are so good.”

“I’ll let Alfred know you appreciated them.” Damian watched his satisfied munching.

“Mmm, please do!” He licked his lips, getting the crumbs away from them and into his mouth. Damian swallowed.

Jon ate the cookies at record speed, and now they were both laying on the roof in silence, looking up at the sky. It was a warm night and the full moon was as bright as it could be, lighting up the distant Gotham streets.

“Now what?” Jon nearly whispered.

“You have your suit. I could put on my suit and we could patrol in Gotham tonight.” Damian said, eyes fixed on the sky “Or we could stay here.”

“I like the second option better.” He answered, pushing himself up. He floated over Damian, blue eyes piercing through his soul. Damian reached up, setting a hand behind Jon’s neck, playing with the hair growing there, slowly bringing him down into a kiss. They closed their eyes for a second, lips pressed together until Damian pulled away.

“Was it... Good?” He whispered.

“Yeah.” Jon answered “Can I land on top of you?” Damian nodded. Jon laid down again, tangling their legs together, supporting his head on the other’s chest “This feels like a dream.” His voice was almost inaudible.

“Tell me about it.” Damian’s hand moved to comb through his hair gently, voice nothing but a whisper. Jon made an approving hum and he smiled.

“I’ve wanted this for so long.”

“Me too.”

“I guess we’re both idiots then, huh?” Jon looked up at him “Waisting our time bickering when we could’ve just... Said it.”

Damian swallowed.

“This is the only time you’re ever allowed to call me an idiot.” He wanted to scowl, but he grinned instead. Jon chuckled.

“Okay. Please don’t stop playing with my hair.”

“I won’t.”

[jyuanka]

In Meteor City They Crush Tomatoes

A writing exercise courtesy of @ishouldgetatumbler, starring Canary and Gel, cause I love them, and hate other certain characters.

Rules I set for myself:

1.     No rambling inner monologues. 2.     No dialogue. 3.     1k words max.

The hallway smelled slightly different this time around.

Canary slid the grocery bags to her elbow so she could fetch the key in the pocket of her sweater, and only when she entered the apartment did she realize her toes were curled stiff from the cold.

Still new to the apartment, she fumbled with the heater, turning several knobs before knowing which one did what.

She was taller than the fridge, a decaying box that squeaked when opened and made a sweaty smacking sound when closed, on its surface the scraped-off remnants of a colored paper collage, cottony to the touch, addictive to peel.

The can of beer stood alone over one of the fridge’s racks, to the side a bottle of milk and packaged food in the bottom drawer. Canary moved items inside closer to one another so the fridge would appear fuller.

~

Gel opened the fridge, felt peculiarly picky about which fruits to choose for this one. She stood there for a moment, the chilly waft of air cooling her skin, her usual calmness betrayed by the indecisive tapping of her fingers over the cold stainless steel of the fridge door.

Was the apartment too hot?

For this date night, she had decided to make pavlova, but was now reconsidering it carefully. To strike a sweet spot between expensive and homely should be an easy task, she believed. Was this recipe too simple?

A third date. That didn’t happen often these days.

She gave herself a quick once-over in the salon mirror. From this distance, the mounds of her cleavage looked uneven. Or did they? She adjusted the strapless dress over her chest, bent down to inspect, took a deep breath that almost made her tits slip out. Maybe she’ll have to change this one.

Was she nervous?

Nonsense.

Gel took out the strawberries.

~

The tomatoes were soft in her palms, retaining the coldness of the city outside, Canary imprinting their slick sheen with the tips of her fingers.

One way people used to prepare it in Meteor City was to crush each tomato by hand and toss it in a pot.

She went for the sole knife in her kitchen drawer, its dull edge wrinkling the tomato skins, inflating the tomato before cutting through it. After one too many, Canary tossed the knife in the sink. It would be simple, to open the door and borrow a knife from one of her neighbors.

Instead of going out the door, she found herself with sleeves rolled up, licking crushed tomato juice off her fingers and wrists.

~

Gel’s tongue glided joyously over the sugary, whipped egg whites covering her finger. Add cocoa. Certainly.

Would home-cooked sushi make her appear too approachable? Gel certainly didn’t want to give off the wrong vibes. She was aiming for sexy, not domestic, that’s why she was going to prepare each morsel right in front of her guest, piece by piece, maybe hand-feed the other woman if the wine was good enough. Her technique never failed to impress, and just as extra measure, she had practiced the night before, and slept satisfied.

The black lace was soft against her back, tight over the elbows, the delicate frills around her wrists remaining perfectly clean as she spooned out the whipped, brown mixture onto a tray.

Doting over the whipped cream, Gel thought strawberries were too predictable, too unobtrusive. She wanted something much more exotic, more intimidating, to garnish the pavlova. Figs from Caledonia, perhaps, or Iwanese oranges. She had these on hand.

Red Manchesean pears?

With her date one hour away from arriving, it was too late to pick her phone and ask for a favor.

~

You were supposed to cover the pot with a lid to let the sauce simmer, but Canary didn’t.

She stood over the stove, lulled in a way by the bubbling volcanos of her first ever home-cooked dinner and the starchy smell of the pasta softening in the other pot, the green peppers and dried mint, the aroma of garlic sticking under her fingernails, cold beer right under her nose, regretting only buying one the moment she opened it.

The butlers weren’t allowed alcohol at the manor. It didn’t mean they didn’t drink it.

On the table was a dented piece of cheap chocolate cake she had to carry all the way from the shop to here. They don’t give you a box if you just buy one. Canary was planning to eat it on the way and then completely forgot about it as it slowly crumbled in her hand.

~

Strawberries. So be it.

Gel found herself in yet another dress, standing over the finished pavlova with resigned acceptance, surrounded by too many fruits on the cutting board.

She had opened a bottle of chardonnay fifteen minutes ago, poured just the perfect amount so it would appear as if she simply took a couple casual sips while preparing the food, set the table beside the balcony.

Barefoot, ready to slip on her high heels the second the doorbell rang, she waited.

A third date. Gel chuckled to herself.

The doorbell didn’t ring. Instead, three soft knocks.

She left the heels behind.

~

Four in the morning, the street outside Canary’s apartment smelled of fried fish and baked potatoes, the firepit in a repurposed oil tank in the alleyway under her window smothered to embers.

She left the unread notifications on her phone unread, pulled the chocolate cake out of the fridge, pulled the window open, imagined her hands still smelled of battered tomatoes.

There was time to try out the new work uniform. There always had to be a uniform, it seemed.

In her work heels, Canary washed the sauce-stained dishes of last night.

She forgot the chocolate cake on the windowsill.